The Powerful Influence of a Father

I have heard it several times, most recently last night in Dean's sermon, that your relationship with your father will often be the most powerful influence in shaping your relationship with God. This is not to say that your father must teach you the ins and outs of the Scripture, nor that he must be the spiritual leader of your household, making weekly church attendance a priority (not that it hurts). Any father's objectives of parenthood should be (to quote Charles Dobson):

1. His children grow up knowing that they are unconditionally loved by him,
2. They must obey him.

My father was not a spiritual leader in my house, and for many years I was disappointed about that. My parents disagreed on whether or not I should be baptized as a child. I remember asking them at some point in my "tween" years if I had been baptized and the frustration I felt when my father told me that I wasn't because he believed that it was something that I should choose for myself. I can understand (and even appreciate) the desire for me to choose for myself but I could not understand why I was not taken to church or exposed to the options that I had for my salvation. I have forgiven my father for the lack of spiritual leadership, understanding now that God had a plan and maybe I just wasn't truly ready to take that leap until recently.

More than forgiveness though, I have to give thanks to God for the more subtle ways that my father ensured that my relationship with God would be what it is today. My father taught me what unconditional love was. Always supportive, yet not afraid to show his disappointment in a bad decision that I made, I knew that my father's love would remain unchanged. He wouldn't love me less and wouldn't look at me with any amount of shame once the lecture was over. And there were lectures. There was punishment and consequences that came with those bad decisions and moments of disrespect. It was made clear that although losing his love was not a consequence, my life would be very difficult if were to disobey his rules or expectations.

I have come to realize how transcendent those lessons are.

Dean emphasized the importance of children seeing those qualities in a father in flesh, that we might be able to believe that they exist in God. My daddy was (and still is) larger than life to me. If my dad was able to fix whatever I had broken (even my momma's heart) then what amazing miracles can my God work? His kindness, strength, responsibility to his family and his determination have shown me what a "good man" looks like. The open relationship that we still have helps me speak to God candidly, without fear of judgement.

I have always known that I was a lucky girl to have such a great father, but now I know just how blessed I am.