When these doubts grow too powerful, when Satan begins to think he might have a way back into my heart, God puts that mirror right in front of me. In that mirror I see a girl that does not appreciate the day that the Lord has made. She argues. She justifies her crappy attitude and her misbehavior. She throws tantrums when she doesn't get her way. She is a nurturer. She is stubborn and wants to eat only what is bad for her, not the good things that God put on this earth to nourish her. She is so beautiful that it makes me cry and it breaks my heart when she thinks that jacket that I bought makes her look fat. I look at that girl and get so frustrated, so hurt, so angry and so scared that she will never grow out of this.
And then He reveals himself to me. I may not see his face but this feeling might be even more powerful. The girl in the mirror looks a lot like me, so I am told all the time. But she isn't me. Her name is Madeline. She looks like me. She acts like me. And all these feelings, good and bad, must be what God feels when He observes me, watches over me and tries His best to guide me each day. Don't get me wrong, I believe He handles those feelings much better than I do. But He has blessed me and cursed me with this mirror so that I can see what He sees, and perhaps catch a glimpse and feel just a fraction of what I do to His heart each day.
