My Purpose, My Ministry

For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. ~Ephesians 2:10

In the beginning of my journey, I knew that service would be a large part of my faith. I have a servant's heart, loving to do things for others, and as I fell deeper in love with Jesus, I wanted to do more to show him my love and gratitude. As I look around me, I see people going on mission trips to Haiti and others with full-time ministries. There are so many in my church family that seem to have it all together in that department. God has made his purpose for them abundantly clear. They know their role as part of Christ's body and they are thriving and changing lives in it.

So, what is my ministry? For awhile, I felt as if all I should do was serve within the church in roles that would not show my "entry-level" faith. Being so new to all this, I could never lead someone to Christ...that would be the blind leading the blind! Then I thought, maybe this blog is my ministry. There were several people that were touched by my experiences and it made me feel wonderful that I could be an inspiration to others and that I was somehow validated in my faith. But then my time with God took a much more personal turn, and because of that and some other issues within myself, I was unable to share what was going on with anyone other than my closest friends and family. Surely, if I could just drop my "ministry" like a bad habit then it couldn't be much of a ministry at all.

I've battled feelings of failure, feeling as if I've let God down. He gave me this gift and I was not using it. Instead, I was whining to him about not knowing my purpose. I was pleading with him to please reveal it to me. What important role would I serve in His Kingdom? Could I not be trusted with something grand? I'm a hard worker. I'm honest. I'm reliable. Why would he not reveal my "purpose" to me?!

I was discussing these feelings with my husband and he offered some wise and comforting insight. He said that maybe I was overlooking all of the ministering that I do daily. My influence has spread outside the walls of our house to so many more people than I realize. He used himself as an example. I led him into a deeper relationship with Christ than he had ever known. Because of that, he can now share his faith with others. I have shown the love of Christ to many in our family, of our friends, and to perfect strangers. Those small acts spread like wildfire. They ripple through time and space, with the full reach only being seen by God himself.

So as I read this verse in Ephesians, it hit me. I have read this many times before, but this morning it finally made sense. He created me to fill a position that only I could fill in His kingdom. By focusing so much on trying to find out what that was, and why it wasn't as grand as I thought it should be, I was missing opportunities. I was letting so much pass by. I was focused on trying to define my purpose and shamefully, I was focused more on myself that I was focused on others, and on Him.

I asked God to free me from that today. I asked him to help me see the "big picture". He has made it clear to me that my ministry is not defined to one place, or one group of people. To define it would confine it...and that would not be a grand-scale ministry at all. :)